Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.
Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?
You're only allowed one carrion.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Rudder valve reversals
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Son: does Easter Bunny set out 12 eggs in the field to search for?
Dad: no he dozen’t.
If a lamb and tiger were crossed, you would end up with a striped sweater.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
The other day I told a joke about an armored vehicle with a rotating gun turret.
It tanked.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?
He wanted to be a little boulder.
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
Wow, wouldn’t mind if you became my significant otter.
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
Sherlock Holmes enters a room carrying a box of lemons
"Where'd you get those?" asks Watson.
"A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree."
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What does a bee do when it is extremely hot?
It takes off its yellow jacket!
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
"I'm dyeing to know what's up."
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
I'm acorn-y person.
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
How do you catch a squirrel who's interested in ornithology?
Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch.
Scissors sizzle, thistles sizzle.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
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