What is the perfect name for a sad strawberry? It is called a blueberry.
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
Let’s spend some koala-ty time together.
Why did Princess Leia lose all her friends and family?
She got involved with Alderaan people.
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
All stereos are so typical.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
Snow thank you.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
I've been thinking of U periodically.
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
I went to an Easter party as a Jesus cosplayer
I told them I was a crossplayer.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
What are male twins inside a pregnant woman called?
Em-bro-yos.
When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing? What else but Peelings?
That crazy little sun of a beach.
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
Doctor, Doctor! I'm terrified of words that are also letters!
Oh you are? I see. Why?
It’s lonely between Germany and Spain
Not many France, nobody’s Nice to me, everyone seems to be Lyon. It’s just Eiffel.
My late father once said
Sorry I’m late.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?
Because it’s where all the di**s hang out.
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
One-one was a race horse. Two-two was one too. One-one won one race. Two-two won one too.
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
What is the definition of art theft? A: The haul of frames.
What's more impressive than a talking fish?
A spelling bee.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
Aloha is a soft laugh.
What type of onion can't hold in moisture?
A leek.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
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