An Native American drank 100 cups of tea.
Next day they found him dead in his tea pee.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
Son: Father can you tell me what a solar eclipse is? Father: No sun.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
The therapist asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage. She said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns. I look at the therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one"
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Trowel and error.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
What do skiers order at fast food restaurants?
Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
Rebel without a Claus.
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
They say March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Ewe might say it leaves sheepishly.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
You are shrimply the best!
Your sweater must be made out of wife material.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
My sister just delivered a baby...
I knew she had it in her.
I once pranked my mom and told her that I had lyme disease
I still had a few ticks up my sleeve
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
Here today, lepre-gone tomorrow.
Where is a basketball player's favorite place to eat?
Dunkin' Donuts
I studied archeology
Now my life is in ruins.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
Wear green, or leaf.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
Loving this road trip, but all this driving is tire-ing!
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
How do the elves clean Santa's sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer!
Why did you act like that at Thanksgiving dinner? I yam what I yam.
I always wanted to keep my wisdom teeth but I just went to the dentist and it looks like they're gonna have to be removed...
To be honest this is pretty de-molar-izing.
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