You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
Water you doing on [date]?
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
Nobody showed up to my 16th birthday party,
I congratulated him on his win against Polyphemus and we started the party.
Don’t be hay-tin on autumn!
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
Let’s shell-ebrate good times and tan lines.
You are un-beer-lievable!
What do you call a chameleon that can't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Did you hear about the rich rabbit? He was a millionhare!
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
I won’t let you slip through my Butter Fingers.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
We are mint to be.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
Berries are the most fashionista of the fruits, they can really cherry off the wildest outfits.
Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to.
My physics teacher asked, “So why is v-naught 0?”
I replied, “y-naught?”
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
The ghost was told off when he spook out of turn.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
What did the copy machine say when it spilled it’s skincare?
"Oh no, that was my toner"
Where are koalas taken when they die? To an ancient bearial site.
The sweater I bought recently kept picking up static-electricity, so I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
If you notice this notice,
you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What’s the suns favorite clothes brand?
Kelvin Klein.
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
I didn't get this "World's Greatest Dad" mug for nothing.
It cost $14.99
Where do ghosts play golf?
On a golf corpse.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
Go to BabaMail
