What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
An organization that citricises its workers cannot get the maximum juice out of them.
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
What do mosquitoes and relatives have in common?
They both share your blood.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
What do you say when you go to a dinner with a bunch of osteopathologists?
Bone appetit!
"There's no bunny like you."
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
When you accidentally step on a cheerio, you become a cereal killer.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
How do you make a mango shake?
You take it to a scary movie.
Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time too.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
When you cross summer sun with summer pun you get summer fun.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
Why did the cows have towels? To keep each udder dry.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
"Just looking on the sunny side."
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
What do you call a diving dog?
A sub woofer.
How are a volleyball coach and a dentist similar? They both use drills.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos
She just really needed a shoulder to crayon
The team’s star basketball player decided to remain at home the entire weekend. He didn’t want to be called out for travelling.
Have you heard of the martial artists who fought on the beach?
They faced off in sand-to-sand combat.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
What does the witch do on her birthday?
She spellabrates.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.
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