Fir sure.
Why did the Easter Bunny have to leave school?
He was eggspelled.
What's an prisoners favorite battery? Duracell Why are inmates so angry all the time? Cause they have bad cell service.
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
I came home to find many folders, calendars and filing cabinets were stolen.
Police believe it to be the work of organised crime.
Did you hear they are not making yardsticks any longer?
They’re not making them any shorter either.
I'm reading a book about metal fasteners.
Riveting stuff.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why does it take so long for the EU to figure out how much Italy owes them every year?
Hey, ease up. Rome wasn't billed in a day.
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet.
Space X has really taken off this past year.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
Why is Jupiter so sad and heartbroken? Because his crush wants a plutonic relationship with him.
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
Why are owls so good at math?
They excel at owlgebra.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
Irish you a whole pot of gold!
I told my husband I was excited to see who's nose our baby has on the ultrasound.
He said, "He can't have my nose, I need it!"
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
I went to the costume party as a turtle.
I had a shell of a time.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
Why was the realtor upset with his truck driver client one day?
The client wanted a house with really long haul ways.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
The nurse in the hospital gave me an entire crate of the wrong medicine AND it was outdated! I almost died!
I got a bad case of poison I.V.
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
What it is it called if you refuse to go running today?
Resistance Training!
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
What do you call it when pigs attack you?
A hambush.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
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