Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
What song was the peach listening to? 'Stronger with Peach Tear'.
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
Why did the bunny build herself a new house? She was fed up with the hole thing!
In Ireland, when the cows are in the road it’s udder chaos.
It’s snow joke.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and the sizzlin' steak platter.
"Here's your steak," the bartender says. "Be careful, that plate is really hot."
"Oh, no worries," the guy replies. "I'm not really attracted to plates."
Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
What did one lightbulb say to the other lightbulb on Valentine’s Day?
I love you watts.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
The painter did not want to sit idle because he knew that time white for no one.
Saw my dad outside with a tv antenna on his head
When I asked him why, he said he was trying to get more in tune with nature.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
An atom loses an electron...
It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What do you call a werewolf who doesn't know he's a werewolf ?
Unawarewolf.
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What do you call a toilet perched on top of an active volcano?
The lavatory.
What do you do if you get attacked by a killer clowns?
Go for the jugular.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
You sleigh me.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
I hate spring cleaning.
Darn things bounce all over the place.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
Go to BabaMail
