Mum, you are my soup-er star.
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
A Barceloaner.
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
When you cross a wolf and Fred Astaire, you get dances with wolves.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
What does an artist call his sketch pad? A house.
Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
I recently took a pole and found out 100% of the occupants were angry with me when their tent collapsed.
Finally, the call came in and the orange was informed by the person on the other end of the line that the company had orange-d an interview for the following day.
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
The artist was great. He could always draw a crowd.
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
Turtles that commit crime are sent to the shell-block.
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
I got a valentine from a pickle today...
It meant a great dill to me.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
What do you call someone who rips up books?
A tear-orist.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
How can you tell if you’ve told a really funny Irish joke?
People will be Dublin over with laughter!
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
Tom threw Tim three thumbtacks.
What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What's an inmates favorite food? Cellery.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
A young man had just returned home from culinary school and was telling his family about everything he had learned.
"The most interesting thing I learned was about the French Fry", he told them.
"Combing through historical records, we found that it was not first fried in France!"
His family was astounded, and asked where it was fried originally.
"In Grease, of course."
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
Wow, wouldn’t mind if you became my significant otter.
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
What do you call it when all your mother's sisters gather at a funeral to avenge your death?
Vigil aunties.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
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