Two cabinets walk out of a bar...
One says to the other, "you walking home?" and the other replies, "Nah, I'm cabinet."
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
What does Father Christmas do for his summer holidays? Santa Cruz.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
You're one in a melon.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
I wouldn't say that flying is my favorite way to travel...
But it's up there.
The zookeeper was struggling to explain why two tropical birds were stuck together.
It was toucan fusing.
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
Volleyball is air affair. This would be a good motto for your team.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
I was recently fired from my job operating rides at the carnival
My lawyer has advised suing for funfair dismissal.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
I will only give someone a kleenex if I've known them for a long time.
I guess you could say I have trust-tissues.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Why didn't the lemon juice like the soap?
Because he was basic.
How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
I saw a pun on chocolate bars but it wasn’t that fun
So I just snickered.
What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
Why could the Italian Chef not unlock his car?
He had Gnocchi.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
I'm opening up an old folk's home in Tijuana.
Señor Citizens.
Suzie Seaword's fish-sauce shop sells unsifted thistles for thistle-sifters to sift.
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
Why do painters always fall for their models?
Because they love them with all of their art.
Why was the doctor so paranoid?
He worked in the ICU.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
Why did the barber win the race?
He took a short cut!
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Which birds go to church a lot?
Birds of pray.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
You don't like the outdoors? Unbe-leaf-able.
Irish food is legen-dairy.
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Seven sleazy shysters in sharkskin suits sold sheared sealskins to seasick sailors.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Long thyme no see.
Go to BabaMail
