How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
As a nurse, I have a patient who is very rude...
He's ill-mannered.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
What do you call a clock on the moon?
A lunartick.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
This year, I've really enjoyed watching 'Planet Earth'.
It's a shame that it only has four seasons.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
My dentist says I don't brush enough but hey-
We all have our floss.
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
What is a dairy product like as a partner?
They’re your butter half.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
"You might not carrot all, but you're irresistible."
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
I rushed to my local hospital only to find that it had been converted into a library
Talk about having to suffer in silence
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
"I've found some bunny to love."
Living in france must be hard
I mean, 100 dollars is only a cent.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
I’m a clover, not a fighter.
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son.
Beehive!
What do you call a pear who plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
Why did the Math teacher get a divorce?
He substituted his wife for an ex.
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