Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
I got a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
It is kneadless, to say.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
or just mething around?
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What did Papa cabinet advise to his Son cabinet before his first date?
"Just be youshelf"
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin. I told him I'd gourd it with my life!
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
Tis the sea-sun.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
Why aren’t skeletons good at poker?
You can see right through them.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
How does Reese eat her ice cream?
Witherspoon.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
My twin brother was being rude to our mother on the phone, so I pushed him out of the window...
Now I am being charged with making an "obscene clone fall."
Make your own decisions this summer, don't give in to pier pressure.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
An astronaut who normally fails on a weightlessness experiment, might surely be aware of the gravity of the situation.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
Everyone remembers the common hieroglyphics grammar rule...
Eye before flea, except after sea.
Q: Why can’t oranges be pirates?
A: They don’t get scurvy.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
"I lava you."
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
What kind of blanket has the most patience?
A weighted blanket.
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
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