An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas!
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
How do you know your heart is your biggest fan?
It’s always so pumped for you.
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?
They’re all Manuel.
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Did you hear about the Irishman that drank 100 liters of stout in just 30 minutes?
They’re calling it a Guinness World Record.
All the turtles wore turtle necks to the party.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
As I was preparing to leave the restaurant, the waiter said to me, “Do you wanna box for your leftover food?”
I said, “No thanks, but I’ll wrestle you for them.”
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
Wedding cake tastes just like Birthday cake
It just takes more commitment.
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What did the copy machine say when it spilled it’s skincare?
"Oh no, that was my toner"
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"
But he just saying "Yes."
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
My neighbor tried to charge me $20 to watch the eclipse from his balcony.
I told him that was daylight robbery.
Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager managing an imaginary menagerie.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
“Deck the Halls with Bows on Collies.”
Why do people in Greece not wake up until noon?
Because Dawn is tough on greece.
What do you call a deer in a storm?
A raindeer
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What do you call a meal from the moon?
A satellite dish.
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
It's ice to meet you.
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
By his net income.
Go to BabaMail
