Why is the pickle container always open?
Because it's ajar.
How do you know if a spine finds you funny?
It starts cracking up.
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
All stereos are so typical.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
You must be copper and terillium because you are Cu-Te
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
How do sheep greet each other during the holidays? Fleece Navidad!
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
Q: How do Japanese artists bid farewell?
A: Cyan-Nara!
Which color is the fastest?
Red, because it is always redy.
A ship wanted to travel from the Pacific to the Arctic
But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
Why do gherkins giggle when you touch them?
They're pickle-ish.
Do you want to try my soup? I have enough for broth of us!
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
I really hate these strings. I can feel it in my gut.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
My mother's mother lost her false teeth at the retirement home. We searched the place everywhere but couldn't find them.
We looked in every nook and granny!
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank...
Was a monster!
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
I went to an art gallery and noticed that all the info was also available in braille.
Nice touch.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Sometimes you have to green and bear it.
What did the Bluetooth say as the ship went down?
"Help! We’re syncing!"
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
I'm having mixed feelings about being a Michael Jackson impersonator.
On one hand, you get to wear a cool white glove.
On the other hand, you don't.
“Mom, what do we have for this dinner?” – “I cannot tell you. It is a little soup-prise, son!”
Go to BabaMail
