When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
Why did the volleyball players line up from shortest to tallest? The coach wanted the team to switch from a 5-1 line up to a 6-2.
Grammar has never been my strong suit.
Do you beer-lieve in magic?
Why don’t most people enjoy jokes about taco shells?
They’re too corny
What did they Turkey say to the blade of grass? Nice knawing you!
So I heard this joke about glass
But it clearly shouldn’t have been made
What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
"Say you'll be wine."
Why are street thugs so good at basketball?
Because they know how to shoot, steal, and run.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
What our parents tortoise was to be kind to each other.
Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?
he had ... a reptile dysfunction
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
I bought my missus an egg-beater for our wedding anniversary.
I knew she wanted me to whisk her away.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor.
I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice.
Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.
Did you know if you hold a hard hat up to your ear....
you can hear the OSHA?
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
Who is the first farmer to walk on the moon?
Neil Farmstrong.
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?
E-Reptile Disc Function
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
As it snow happens.
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
They were losing the battle, until they started chucking the tops of kitchen cupboards at the enemy.
It was a counter attack.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
What do you call a flower with a mouth?
Tulip.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Where do you imprison a naughty skeleton?
A rib cage.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
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