Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
What do you call a clock on the moon?
A lunartick.
I've just arrived in Bulgaria. How is it? Sofia, so good.
My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name...
So I called her Bluff.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
Why didnt the moon go outside?
Because it was waning.
What do you call an ant who doesn’t smell anymore?
Deodor-ant.
What's an inmates favorite food? Cellery.
Why did Dracula take cold medicine in winter? To stop his coffin.
I built an electric fence around my property yesterday.
My neighbor is dead against it.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
Saw a sign for bath plugs. I didn’t know that was electric!
The best place to hide something is at an airport
You'd be hiding something in plane site.
Why do seals have trouble eating bread?
Because they're seal-iacs.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What do you call a little tune about atmospheric moisture?
A humi-ditty.
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
“Did you know that Father Christmas has a daughter? Her name is Mary Christmas.”
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and the sizzlin' steak platter.
"Here's your steak," the bartender says. "Be careful, that plate is really hot."
"Oh, no worries," the guy replies. "I'm not really attracted to plates."
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
Time to spruce things up.
What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
“If you’re lucky this Christmas, Santa Claus will grace you with his presents.”
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
When a dinosaur gets a goal in a soccer tournament, it is known as a dino-score.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
Need an ark?
I noah guy.
Or maybe it’s baseball players because they’re so great at hitting it off.
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
Who needs friends when you’ve got anemones?
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
For my wife's birthday, I bought her some beads for her abacus
It's the little things that count.
Go to BabaMail
