The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
I bought this strange novelty baking pan shaped like Camelot.
I think I'll break it in by making a castlerole.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry?
He apollo-gises.
What did the plate say to the refrigerator?
"Stay cool. Dinner's on me"
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What did the manager say to the realtor who kept forgetting to sign the agreement?
He said, "Just do the deed."
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
Classical conditioning.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he ate his soup before it was cool.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Fir sure.
What does a real estate agent from Seychelles specialized in beachfront properties do?
She sells Seychelles by the seashore.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance? The bunny hop.
The biggest irony in the world's history is that the Russian alphabet has no letters in lowercase. It is all Capitalization.
If you search for pictures of corn on Google you'll only get stalk pictures.
I came across a great movie about a semi-truck with a defective refrigeration unit that had to deliver a large shipment of meat.
Unfortunately, the trailer spoiled it.
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Why do basketball players love cookies? Because they can dunk them!
What do you call it when a pillow hits its head?
A concushion.
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season
Apparently they never take any shots.
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because all his uncles were ants.
All dressed up and nowhere to grow.
Which Bible character had no parents?
Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
Why are pickles in sandwiches always so polite?
They're well-bread.
Say it ain’t snow.
What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!
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