Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What do you call a decent cup of coffee?
Just an average joe.
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
You heard about the Spanish woman that is now a man?
He’s called Senor Rita.
Getting lucked up on St. Patrick’s Day.
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
Beach, please.
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
How were these puns about puns?
They were pun-questionably pun-fortunate!
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
The juveniles
My doctor told me that his job is easy because he can heal all of his patients with trigonometry.
He has a sinecure.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
Two flies were fighting on a toilet seat.
One got pissed.
I decided to try growing pot...
So I buried a saucepan in my yard. I hear it takes no skillet all.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do you call it when the axe in your hand falls on your feet.
An AXEIDENT.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No cherries.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing? What else but Peelings?
Living in france must be hard
I mean, 100 dollars is only a cent.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
I love you deerly.
You’re a cutie 3.14159265359
Why isn’t there an organization like Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because nobody wants to quit.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Water you doing?
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
I hope the only things that blow are candles and balloons. Have a great birthday!
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...
It was stolen from right under my nose.
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