I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
It is not really much about how you bowl, but instead how you roll.
Did you expect to laugh at puns?
No, but they've groan on me!
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
What do you call a very sad cup of coffee?
A depresso.
Why is spring a great time to start a gardening business?
Because it’s the season when you can really rake in the cash.
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
I got worried about climate change when realtors in Iowa started advertising their listings as “potential waterfront property.”
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
My wife just said that in order for our marriage to work, we both need to make sacrifices.
I’m thinking of choosing a goat.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
The chicken got sent off in the middle of the match because of their persistent fowl play.
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
What did the nerdy duckling say ?
Quark Quark.
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Are you a 90 degree angle? Because this feels just right.
Went on a diving trip with strangers and found a sunken vessel. We're all pitching in to salvage and rebuild it.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friend-ship.
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
I'm making a new documentary on how to fly a plane.
We're currently filming the pilot.
My wife asked if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start but I made it.
There’s a new drama featuring herbivore doctors.
It’s called Graze Anatomy.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling.
Go to BabaMail
