What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What Twix do you have up your sleeve that makes me love you?
Why would a cow want to go to space? To see the Milky Way.
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
My wife says she wants to order a glass of wine during our Valentine’s Day dinner.
She says she loves being carded.
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
After completing the deadline just in the nick of time, the artist breathed a cyan of relief.
Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...
Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.
What is the perfect day to go to the beach?
Sun-day!
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
“What would you get if you ate the Christmas decorations? Tinselitis.”
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
You snow the drill.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
You're so clover!
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
Why didn't the snowman go to the party?
He had snowone to go with!
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
Nothing really mattress.
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
I beg your garden?
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
So engineering school is really hard.
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.
Did you hear about the constipated engineer? He worked it out with a pencil. It was a natural log.
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
Go to BabaMail
