Some people think nuclear physics is interesting.
Well, in my opinion it's really Bohring.
What did the Bluetooth say as the ship went down?
"Help! We’re syncing!"
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
What do you call a fake Irish stone? A shamrock.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
What did the pig say on a hot summer’s day?
I’m bacon!
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What do you call a mathematician's spouse?
Their significant figure.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
I’m currently reading a book on anti-gravity and it’s impossible to put it down.
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
It’s snow joke.
Get in the swim this summer.
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and thinking to myself....
Where the heck is my roof ?
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
If you have a bee in your hand, what do you have in your eye? Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
Jack is a lovable man with a colorful personality. He is a great hue-man.
My girlfriend brought 50,000 bees and put them in our backyard.
She's a keeper.
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
“Is this the Spanish word for ‘nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.
“Si, está.”
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
How good is a Coney Island gyro? Feta than se*.
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
What happened when the koala house party got a little too far out of hand? One of the neighbors koalaed the cops.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to go two spots away, it's called "social pisstancing".
How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?
They docked his pay.
How did the catholic cowboy greet his priest for confession?
“Howdy, pardoner!”
In later years was the Great One in decline? Yes he was on the Wayne.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
What do you call a chameleon that can't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
What type of real estate transactions do dwarves prefer?
Short sales.
when I’m with you.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
These puns are turtle-y hilarious.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
What is the favorite chess move of ants with bladder problems?
En pissant.
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