Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are at the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What do you call a father who’s against hand bags?
Antiperspirant.
Do you know what a beavers' favorite snack is? Wood chips.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What do you call two beautiful cat that sit together in the basin?
Purrfectly in sink.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?
Barklava!
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
A big black bug bit a big black dog on his big black nose!
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
After all is sled and done.
Where do Astronauts go to the bathroom?
Where no one has gone before.
Colors laugh by saying, "Hue Hue Hue."
What do you call a bullet proof Irishman?
Rick O'Shea.
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
Local glass blower inhaled whilst working. He ended up with a pane in his stomach.
Why do spider-musicians always have such long concert tours?
Because they have so many legs.
"Some bunny needs vodka."
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During ape-ril showers.
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
Interesting fact: A nectarine can also be a peach if it does not have peach fuzz.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
"I'm eggs-hausted."
Go to BabaMail
