What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade?It was eggs-cellent.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
What is a jedi electrician’s favorite tool?
His lightsaber.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
If you must cross a course cross cow across a crowded cow crossing, cross the cross coarse cow across the crowded cow crossing carefully.
A Pun, a Play on Words, and a Limerick walk into a bar....
No Joke.
Why does the jellybean go to school? Because he wants to become a smartie.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
The fruit stutters because it suffers from a peach impediment.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
What comes out of your nose at 200 mph?
Lambogreeny.
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
One-one was a race horse.
Two-two was one too.
One-one won one race.
Two-two won one too.
Your sweater must be made out of wife material.
Thirty-three thousand people think that Thursday is their thirtieth birthday.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
"What an egg-citing day."
The only ship that has never docked on their harbor is the premiership.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
Why do birds fly south in the fall?
Because it’s too far to walk.
What pillow set do the church organist and his wife have?
Hymn and Hers.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket.
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
How many tacos can an octopus eat?
Ten tacos.
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
What do oranges like to listen to?
Musical com-peel-ations.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
When NASA will put 20 heads of cattle into the outer space, it will be the 1st herd shot around the entire world.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
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