I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What do we call a chicken inside a hot tub? – It is called soup.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
How do camels blend in?
With camel-flage
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
My dad was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
I have an uncle, once removed.
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. How many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?
I wouldn't say I liked the documentary that I had watched on the history of WD-40. It was non-friction.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
Where are average things manufactured? The satisfactory.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
Where do otters keep their money? In the river bank!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Where did Vegans come from?
Hummus Sapiens
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
In another town, the cowboy rides in wearing a paper suit. Paper pants, paper jacket, paper chaps. Even a paper holster!
He wasn't in town ten minutes before he was arrested for rustling.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
I read dead people.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
I can sea clearly now.
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "awww, babe look at the sheep."
"No, ewe." I said.
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
I went into my art lesson covered in yeast and flour...
My teacher said, I'm the perfect roll model.
Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
Go to BabaMail
