Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
You’re unbeleafable.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
I like big punts and I cannot lie
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
The fact that we were asked to leave our beautiful purple color house by the owner is still purplexing for me.
What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? "You want a peach of me?"
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
I violated grammar rules, so I got punished with the death sentence.
Death.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
The computer had to visit the dentist at the very earliest opportunity as it had a BlueTooth!
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
What do you call an artist without a palette? Someone who makes paintings without taste.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
What do bakers tell their children at night?
Breadtime stories.
Dark-colored huskies found in Colorado can also be termed as dusky huskies!
What do skeletons put in their photocopiers?
Skeletoner
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
In Ireland, they really like to ham it up.
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a French bathroom?
Linoleum Blownapart.
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
All my neighbours bought the same set of stereos...
When will they stop stereotyping?
Go to BabaMail
