How many cans can a cannibal nibble
if a cannibal can nibble cans?
As many cans as a cannibal can nibble
if a cannibal can nibble cans.
My son asked me where the pan was.
I told him, naturally, it went on a wok.
I’m rooting for you!
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
What did the tree say to spring?
What a re-leaf!
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
Do you believe this? All soccer players, irrespective of their country of origin, have one goal.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
What do you give to a sick lemon?
lemonaid.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
I just quit my job as a train driver a few weeks ago.
I can't help but feel that my life has gone off the rails since.
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
A dull, dark dock, a life-long lock,
A short, sharp shock, a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a pestilential prison,
And awaiting the sensation
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
What does your little sibling and Q have in common?
They will always rely on U.
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
When Lincoln had asked Republican Senator John if he would aid him in capturing Atlanta, he replied, "Sher-man!"
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
My wife and I split up.
She got the “U” and I got the “P”
Have you heard about the banker who drowned in a river? It was a river of cash.
Grasshoppers do not fancy soccer matches because most of them prefer cricket matches.
To beer or not to beer… That is the question.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
What did the ghost teacher say to her class? - Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.
Q. Why are orange jokes so dumb?
A. Because oranges are afraid to concentrate.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
Why can't inmates read a clock? Because it's hard time.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
What type of a computer does a horse like to eat? A Macintosh
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
Go to BabaMail
