Yoda one for me!
If you notice this notice,
you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Awe shucks!
What's green and wears a cape?
Super Pickle.
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
What do you call pig shampoo?
Hogwash.
Mo mi mo me send me a toe,
Me me mo mi get me a mole,
Mo mi mo me send me a toe,
Fe me mo mi get me a mole,
Mister kister feet so sweet,
Mister kister where will I eat !?
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
Why can't inmates read a clock? Because it's hard time.
What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A polygon.
Grandma: Do you like Hummus? Me: I love Hummus....and I sometimes like to singus!
What party game do rabbits like to play?
Musical Hares!
Yule be sorry.
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
Why do you think is the moon bald? Because it has no ‘air.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
Don’t go bacon my heart.
What is a 2000 pound skeleton called
A skeleTon.
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
Why is Mrs Mayo mad at Mr Ketchup?
She caught him watching the salad dressing again.
What did the skydiver say in autumn? I love the fall.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
I’m a baseliner and I don’t know how to volley: my game would disappear if I went to no-man’s land.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
The sun is mad at the clouds because the clouds keep throwing shade.
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
If a man is alone in the garden and speaks, and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
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