Have you heard what happened to unemployed perfume makers?
They are not making any scents.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What do you call an alien spaceship that goes from planet to planet to planet?
A UF-hoe.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
A man with spine cancer walks up to his friend
His friend notices that the man is holding his back while walking up to him
His friend asks "What's wrong?".
The man says "My back is killing me".
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? A hot, diggety dog.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Follow the fresh prints.
I went to a wedding of two nuclear technicians.
The bride was radiant and the groom was glowing.
Don't get caught between a chalk and a hard place.
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
Toilet jokes aren’t my favorite...
But they’re a solid number 2.
My parents used my Uber to go and file the application ending their marriage.
I gave the driver one star. He drove my parents to divorce.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
I don't like strong perfumes...
I guess I'm inscentsitive.
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
Doctor: Pull yourself together
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
Why did the castle keep swearing?
It had turrets.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
What do you call a cat from Italy?
Spacatti.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
Are people jealous of the Irish?
Yeah, they’re green with envy.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
During the Great Depression, President Hoover didn't give a dam.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Woman turned down the marriage proposal of a gardener. She wasn't ready to shear her life with him.
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
---
What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
Go to BabaMail
