Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl...
I said I didn't even know he could play.
“I hate being half bike, half motorcycle,” he moped.
"You're a real good egg."
Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
What do you call a mosquito sitting on your spouse’s cheek?
A golden opportunity.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
My Chiropractor is serious is as hell
But he always cracks me up.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
What type of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
A dog in a pumpkin patch is called...
a pumpkin pooch.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "awww, babe look at the sheep."
"No, ewe." I said.
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
What's the difference between and Buffalo and a Bison?
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo.
What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison?...
You can’t wash your hands in a buffalo.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Irish cuisine is stew-pendous.
Why couldn't the squirrel eat the macadamia nut?
It was one tough nut to crack.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
Only a**holes use bidets.
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Two monkeys get in a bath. The first one say’s “ooh ooh aah ooh aah”
The second one say’s “well put some cold water in it then”
You’re sledding a fine line there.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
I've just got my hand stuck in a jar of gherkins and I can't get it out.
I'm in a right pickle!
How do you save a drowning otter? Take your foot of its head
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
What do a mommy bee and a daddy bee make when they have alone time?
A babe-bee.
Wife told me to grow a pear.
I did. It tasted delicious.
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There would be mass confusion.
What our parents tortoise was to be kind to each other.
Go to BabaMail
