What type of person doesn’t like pizza?
A weir-dough.
You have me greening from ear to ear.
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
If you want to vacation in Italy, don't be afraid to Rome around.
Why did you guys not laugh at my space puns? Because there way to Sirius.
What killed the painter? He had too many strokes.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
What do volleyball players do when they go to church? Serve God.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
Why did the volleyball player get sent to jail? Because he was set up.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Where do killer whales go to get their braces?
The orca-dontist.
What kind of music would planets prefer to hear? NepTUNEs.
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
My little brother had to stay with our parents when we went to Italy. I was free to Rome.
What do Italians eat on Halloween?
Fettuccine Afraid-O
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
Susie works in a shoeshine shop. Where she shines she sits, and where she sits she shines.
What is the shortest month of the year?
M-A-Y.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
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