If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
Sherlock Holmes was doing some gardening, Watson asked what he was planting. He replied “A lemon tree, my dear Watson”.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
Interesting fact: A nectarine can also be a peach if it does not have peach fuzz.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
"You can't sip with us."
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
Fir sure.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
Goat milk?
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
My physics teacher told me i had so much potential, so much energy.
Then I fell down the stairs and lost it all.
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
The bag of flour was so confused.He thought that he saw his friend the loaf yeast-erday.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Who is the superhero who loves to have soup all the time? Souper-man.
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
Why can’t people hear your scream in the space? Because it’s miles away.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
The phone rings, and a crow picks it only to find out it’s for her husband. She then says: "Hey John, you have a phone caw."
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Go to BabaMail
