Why are parrots so loyal? They are a man of their bird!
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
A dull, dark dock, a life-long lock,
A short, sharp shock, a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a pestilential prison,
And awaiting the sensation
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
Where did the Terminator find extra olive oil??
Aisle B, back.
I auditioned to be a carpenter’s hand.
Nailed it.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
What do you call a group of crows who see food?
A tempted murder.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
What do you call an imaginary color?
A pigment of your imagination.
Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?
After getting a strike, they spike the ball.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.
She's a unicorn.
What rock would you find inside a garden shed?
Shedimentary.
My kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...
I hope this will not surface again
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Instead of a swear jar I have a negativity jar. Everytime I have a pessimistic thought I put a dollar in it.
It's half empty.
What did ketchup say while spotting his friend at the gym?
Mustard all of your strength!
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
A happy hippo hopped and hiccupped.
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!
What do you call a funny parrot spoof
A parody
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
Tommy Tucker tried to tie Tammy's Turtles tie.
Roofs of mushrooms rarely mush too much.
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
Have you heard about the new his & hers toothpaste?
The flavor is "mint to be".
What did the osteopathic medicine doctor bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
What did the apple say to the almond? You're Nuts!
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
I finally decided to sell my vacuum. It was just gathering dust.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
ILENE.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
Go to BabaMail
