Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
My dentist asked me if I had any questions before he started.
I thought for a minute, then asked, "If oral hygiene is so important, why do you have plaque on your wall?"
Old Software Engineers Never Die...
They just reboot.
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?
Where's Popcorn?
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
I dated a doctor once. Big mistake.
She was a Psycho.
Q. What is a mime's favorite time of the day?
A. Dusk, because all the colors are muted.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
"I'm an Easter eggs-pert."
My parents always brought me up to believe the sky's the limit.
Which was a shame because I wanted to be an astronaut.
Shoutout to my grandparents...
Because that's the only way they can hear me.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What's an inmates favorite food? Cellery.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Went on a walk today. Had a couple of crows following me around. I'm pretty sure I have the corvid.
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
"Happy eggster."
What runs around a garden but never moves? A fence.
Let’s take a leaf of faith.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
Two kittens on a sloped roof.
Which one slides off first?
The one with the lowest mew.
Why these days, the Moon is up till so late? Don’t worry, it is just going through a phase.
Do you know what is the most favourite fruit in the United States? – Mmm peach!
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Go to BabaMail
