How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle.
Two white bears got married, but soon ended up unhappy and got divorced.
It’s as if they were polar opposites.
I booked an appointment at the orthopedist for my whole family.
We got joint problems.
What do you call a Rabbi who works with solvents?
An acidic Jew.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
If you doubt whether bowling is a sport, get it from me, that yes, it is a sport, but for people who have talent to spare.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Puns make me numb, but math puns make me...
Number.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
Talk literary to me.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
Their romance started by candlelight.
But it only lasted a wick.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
In the magazine polls held this fall, Autumn was declared as the cutest season because it's awwwtumn!
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
After trying out floss for the first time, I couldn't believe how nice it felt.
It truly was a breath of fresh air.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
The bread actor was sad because he lost a juicy roll.
What do you call a funny parrot spoof
A parody
Where are koalas taken when they die? To an ancient bearial site.
First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.
Those who steal trains must have a loco–motive!
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
I banged my head on a low bridge.
Would have been ok if viaduct.
What did the geologist say when his doctor said he needed a colon exam?
No fracking way!
Mountains aren't just funny.
They're hill areas.
I tried to tell a joke about towels...
But people don’t like my dry humor.
My skeleton girlfriend dumped me the other day. She had the hottest spine I have ever seen.
I just want her back.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
Go to BabaMail
