Paleontologists found the world's oldest toothbrush.
They believe it came from the Flossiraptor.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What do you get when a dinosaur blows it's nose? OUT of the way!!
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
What do you call it when you need a break at work and go to the bathroom even though you don't need to go?
A sham poo.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Physics puns are no joke. It’s a relatively dark matter.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Basketball players manage to remain cool even during tough matches because they stay closer to the fans.
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
I whale-y like you.
WOOD you tell give some wood puns?
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
Snow on and snow forth.
What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
Why do painters always fall for their models?
Because they love them with all of their art.
Why do criminals hate coins?
Because half of them are coppers.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
If Moses were alive today, why would he be considered a remarkable man?
Because he would be several thousand years old.
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
Cutest clover in the patch.
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Where does a camel go after he's eaten his main course? He walks straight to the desert trolley.
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
What does Father Christmas do for his summer holidays? Santa Cruz.
What sound does a Greek cow make?
"μ"
Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time too.
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