Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Fortune-teller was killed by a car bomb
Couldn’t foresee the C4.
What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
They both require a chickpea.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
"Let's have some skele-fun."
What type of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
Why was the peach so sad at the funeral? It left a deep pit in its heart.
I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.
I now have a terminal hangover.
Why did the hawk sit on the church’s steeple?
It was a bird of pray.
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
The therapist asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage. She said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns. I look at the therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one!"
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
What’s the perfect gift for someone who is always raisin’ the bar? Oatmeal
raisin.
Where do skeletons go hang out at night?
Anywhere, as long as it's a hip joint.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
Where do beavers go for a hair cut? To the bobber shop.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Never bet on real estate. The house always wins.
Their romance started by candlelight.
But it only lasted a wick.
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
He was showing off his new gaming gadget, "it has the latest peach recognition technology" he said.
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
What do you call a blessed blanket?
Holy sheet
Why won't prison life be much different from playing for the Bills? OJ will still have big guys opening holes for him.
All punts are highly intended
My friend was explaining at length how he was digging holes in his backyard for water.
He was boring.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
What does a baby computer call its father?
Data.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What do you call a Pig with three eyes?
Piiig.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
Keep calm and leprech-on.
I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: “That’s the last thing I need!”
The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
The team’s star basketball player decided to remain at home the entire weekend. He didn’t want to be called out for travelling.
Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are dying to get in!
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?
Take their genes down.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What do you can an ant scientist?
Albert Antstein.
Go to BabaMail
