I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
Volleyball is air affair. This would be a good motto for your team.
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
What happened when the koala house party got a little too far out of hand? One of the neighbors koalaed the cops.
My friend was telling me about how a shark attacked her while she was diving
I told her, that bites.
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
I wood never leaf you.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
Recently, i started learning Spanish
But i can't hola long conversation.
I see a sea down by the seashore.
But which sea do you see down by the seashore?
The classiest indoor tennis facilities serve bubble tea.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
You snooze. You booze.
The Christmas alphabet has noel.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Two kids are camping in their backyard, it's gotten pretty late and neither of them has a watch.
"What time do you think it is?" one of them asks the other.
"Just make a ton of noise," says the other.
The first kid gets confused and decides to do it anyway. After a few seconds of screaming, a light turns on in another yard and a neighbor yells, "YOU CRAZY KIDS IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING!!"
When do you put paprika on eggs? Fry-Day.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
How many ears do you think a Spock has? Three. A right ear, left ear, and a final front ear.
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
Why did the artist cross the street? To crosshatch to the other side.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
My friend can't afford expensive art, she has no Monet.
I'd give me right arm to be ambidextrous!
Why did the vegetarian stop running cross country?
He did not like the meets.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
What was the Peach's favorite surf band from the 60's? The Peach Boys.
Have you heard about some bones on the moon? Looks like the cow couldn’t make it after all.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
What do you call a tree that grows deodorant, toothpaste and tampons?
A toiletry.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
I got tear-free soap in my eye.
It hurts like heck but at least I’m not crying.
What's more impressive than a talking fish?
A spelling bee.
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