A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
Interesting fact: A nectarine can also be a peach if it does not have peach fuzz.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s see salt.
Where do bananas go to learn to be sweet?
Sundae School.
What do you call a sneezing big foot in Spanish?
Achoopacabra.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
What makes the soup of a dragon so delicious is the addition of firecrackers.
I went to the costume party as a turtle.
I had a shell of a time.
Who was the fastest runner of all time?
Adam. He was the first in the human race.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
Why do criminals hate coins?
Because half of them are coppers.
My Japanese dentist became a woman.
He’s a trans zen dentalist.
Q. What do you get when a swine artist mixes two colors together?
A. Pigment.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
My dad has been making Halloween related puns all morning
He's now asking that I call him the Halloween Pun King.
A tennis ball walks into a bar.
The bar man asks: “have you been served?”
Did you hear about the colorful sea cow?
Oh the hue-manatee!!!
I was going to buy a new pillow....
but I decided I better sleep on it first
You are one candle closer to starting a house fire.
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet
Join us for plenty of play action.
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
Snow joke, the weather is horrible today!
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
What do you call an alert ant?
Vigil-ant.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
So, how on earth did the police catch the watermelon thief without a solid description? Don’t really know; guess the bloke was acting seedy.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Did you hear about the little people starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery.
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
Saturn Uranus.
What would the greatest hockey player in history be called if he would have chosen not to play hockey?
Wayne Regretzky
Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
The beauty with bowling is that you can get three strikes, but you still remain in the game.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
What do you call a pickle you got at a cheap price?
A sweet dill.
What do you call two beautiful cat that sit together in the basin?
Purrfectly in sink.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
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