If coloured caterpillars could change their colours constantly could they keep their coloured coat coloured properly?
Jellyfish and peanut butterare sea turtles favorite sandwich.
I loved the soup that they served at the local restaurant yesterday. It was simply pho-nomenol.
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in Africa. One of the pupils replies, “five zebras and a lion”.
The soup was too spicy to be had by us. It was the borscht soup I had ever had.
Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
What do you call getting attacked by a mermaid?
An ariel assault.
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
I just saw a man slumped over a lawn mower crying his eyes out.
he's just going through a rough patch.
You really mermaid my day.
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
These thousand tricky tongue twisters trip thrillingly off the tongue.
I know tons of dad jokes! Here’s one
1.
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
We were mermaid for each other.
You make miso happy.
I dressed up as a jousting lance for Halloween, but nobody got it.
I thought it was pretty straight forward.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
What do volleyball players watch during their free time? They watch Spike TV.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
Werewolves love their fast food.
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
What makes your mouth sad?
A tongue depressor.
What do pigs drive? Pigup trucks.
The boot black brought the black boot back.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What do you call a bat with ebola? African batman.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
What’s the biggest danger of building a snow dog?
Frostbite!
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?
They have greater potential.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
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