What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
What can you serve and never eat? A volleyball!
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
My Chiropractor is serious is as hell
But he always cracks me up.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
What do skeletons put in their photocopiers?
Skeletoner
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up!
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Had beaver curry last night.
Bit like a normal curry, just a little otter.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
My father had the uncanny ability to know which way the wind blew by feeling his jugular...
`It was his weather vein.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
What kind of garden flowers grow in outer space?
Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
What do fruits do when they are really really afraid? They run away as fast as their legs can cherry them.
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
My son asked me where the pan was.
I told him, naturally, it went on a wok.
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
A major produce organization is reeling after multiple reports of tainted lettuce.
We may soon witness the falling of the Romaine Empire.
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
My least favorite teacher in the school is the History teacher. Whenever she takes a class on Ancient History, she tends to Babylon.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
She stood on the balcony, inexplicably mimicking him hiccuping, and amicably welcoming him in.
I told the artist that his painting was terrible. I think he got the picture.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
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