Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
Did you hear about the football player with the dirty mouth?
Yeah. He was an offensive lineman.
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Did you know if you hold a hard hat up to your ear....
you can hear the OSHA?
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
"You know, one would have been enough."
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
What do you call an eye specialist with a short shirt?
A crop-toptometrist
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
What comes out of your nose at 200 mph?
Lambogreeny.
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
You know, people say they pick their nose,
but I feel like I just was born with mine.
I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out.
I think he’s going through a rough patch.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
What makes your mouth sad?
A tongue depressor.
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
What is red and not good for your teeth?
A brick.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...
It went in one ear and out the other.
Called in sick to work one day complaining about my eyes.
When they asked what's wrong I said:
“I just can’t see myself coming in to work today.”