A captain was barking at his crew. "What do you think is between yer ears!?"
"Eye Eye, Captain!"
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
I was in diss-gust.
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Awe shucks!
One ear of corn says to the other, “I think I have a stalker.”
The other corn replies, “Thats amaizing! Is he cute?” The ear replies, “No, too husky!”
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...
Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.
My wife is always telling me I shouldn’t stick Q-tips so far in my ear
At least that’s what I think she was saying.
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.