Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
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