Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand?
No-Kia.
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
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