What do you call a seamstress that snuck aboard a ship?
A sew-away!
I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my wife about it.
She said there was a great sail.
Who has the best place on a sailing ship?
The mast, because it has the pole-position.
My friend sailed his yacht into the wharf very rapidly, crashing into the dock and causing a dent in the hull.
It's just a berth mark, he swears.
Red ship hits Blue ship...
Sailors marooned.
What do you do when you miss the ferry?
Call a canoe-ber.
How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?
They docked his pay.
I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims.
He's a mad keeler.
Did you hear about the boat dock that committed murder?
He’s going to be judged by a jury of its piers.
You know what really floats my boat?
Surface tension.
Why don't boats have funerals?
They have wakes.
What do sailors buy to customise the back of their ships?
Aft-ermarket parts!
Have you ever been on a party boat?
It’s a Yacht of fun.
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
I’d like to buy a catamaran or a yacht.
I’d like to get the best of boat words.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
Where do boats go when they feel sick?
To the dock.
I'm Going to Host a Boat Race.
The winner will get pasta. It will be called the Penne Regatta.
The bartender asked the pirate, "Is that a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate replied"Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
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