I went to a new kind of show yesterday, which was hosted by a color-changing lizard. He was a good stand-up chameleon.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
I wasn't expecting to be diagnosed as colour blind.
It really came out of the purple.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
The color of the sky can help in predicting the weather. It gives a fair report of the hue-midity.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
What do you call a painting by a cat of herself? A self paw-trait.
I went to an art gallery and noticed that all the info was also available in braille.
Nice touch.
My friend was going to a painting competition, so I wished him, "Grey the force be with you".
What is a definition of art theft? The haul of frames.
When the well-read bird decided to open a restaurant, he named it Red Robin.
Dark-colored huskies found in Colorado can also be termed as dusky huskies!
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
The color turquoise was judged as the best new color because it was cyantifically proven to be.
My colleague kept on missing deadlines, so I advised him not to bite off more than he can blue!
Do black and white count as colors?
It's a gray area.
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
Why was the painter upset when his doctor bought all of his paintings? The doctor thought the paintings would go up in value after his death.
Q: Why did the purple family have to move out?
A: They were plum too loud, excessively violet with one another, and were fuschiatives of the law.
The garden where only white cars are driven can be called a garden of white carnation.
The Earth without 'art'...
....is 'EH'
Why did the portrait artist take a side job as a census taker? Because he was great at canvassing people.
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...
It was stolen from right under my nose.
Dreaming in color is the artist's pigment of imagination.
Q. Where do red, orange, yellow, green, blue and violet crayons like to go hiking?
A. Colorado.
I was wondering about the color of the wind when it suddenly occurred to me that it blue.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
In the paintball game, I shot a guy thrice. He dyed on impact.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
What do you call a crimson-colored fish wearing a hat?
A red herring...
What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
I was really surprised when I learned that singer Pink's favorite color was actually green. No one could have i-magenta-it.
What painting is terrible at ever being happy? The Moaning Lisa.
I was under the blues, so I had to blue my nose occasionally.
What is the definition of art theft? A: The haul of frames.
Once I tried to paint the sky but I blue it.
A friend of mine swallowed some food colouring. He feels he dyed a little inside.
Q. What did the bully do to the orange?
A. Beat him to a pulp.
I was astonished when my shirt's color changed from red to pink after a wash. Guess it showed me its true colors.
The artist successfully climbed the highest peak in the country. He attributed his success to the song, 'Paint No Mountain Higher!'
The painter wanted to feel the texture, so he buttered his toast with his fingers.
When facing trouble in the workspace, all the colorists rallied together by saying, "Come what grey, we will overcome all obstacles!"
What did the art teacher say to the aspiring actress? You sure look the art.
Blue and green stopped fighting because they had agreed on peace teal.
Q: How does an artist fill in a CV?
A: He draws on experience.
Blue jeans are immortal. They never die, they just fade away!
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