What did Train say when they visited a sibling in South Korea?
Hey, Seoul Sister!
What do you call a locomotive with a cold? A choo choo train.
The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says “Choo Choo Choo!”
A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
Why did the train have to rush to the bathroom?
It’s been toot toot tootin all day long!
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
A train track and a motorway walk into a bar. The train track says “a pint for me, please, and one for the road.”
I was so embarrassed when my wife found me playing with my son’s train set that I threw a blanket over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
I saw a guy on the train holding a newspaper in front of his face.
He was behind The Times.
A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
New electric trains will run on conductors.
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn’t trained.
Why did the Mexican train robber rob the train?
Because he had a loco-motive.
I've always wanted to become a podiatrist, but was made to train as a paediatrician first.
Baby steps.
I’ve been meaning to make a list of bad railroad puns…but I keep getting side tracked.
Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.
I know someone who tried to run away after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum? A chew-chew train.
How do locomotives hear? Through the engineers!
How long does it take for electricity to travel the length of a 10 car train?
It all depends on the conductor.
Why do you have to wait so long for a train on Halloween? They only run a skeleton service.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.
Those who steal trains must have a loco–motive!
What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A LOCOmotive.
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
Never going drinking with Train drivers again.
All they did all night was tell me to ‘chug,chug,chug,chug.’
I know an elephant who refused to travel by train because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the baggage car.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
I don’t want to drive you crazy, but I do have a loco-motive
What do you give a train driver for Christmas? Platform shoes!
Why did the train have bubble gum? Because he wanted to go Choo Choo
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
Why are the railroad tracks angry? Because people are always crossing them.
Why didn't the conductor know what to do when he found that his train was missing?
He wasn't trained for this.
I know someone who tried to runway after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
How do you find a missing train? Follow the tracks
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
Why don’t elephants like to ride on trains? Because they hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.
I tried to tell my favourite joke about trains, but it got derailed.
I am on the train and a light just came on saying the toilet is engaged.
Congratulations, toilet!
I just quit my job as a train driver a few weeks ago.
I can't help but feel that my life has gone off the rails since.
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
What is as big as a steam locomotive, but weighs nothing? Its shadow.
How can you tell a train just went by? A. You can see it’s tracks!
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