What do you call an eye specialist with a short shirt?
A crop-toptometrist
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
Now I have Heinzsight.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out.
I think he’s going through a rough patch.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
I can cut a piece of wood with my own eyes just by looking at it
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
I saw a movie about a pig with no eyes.
It was PG.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s see salt.
What do you call an eye that can fly?
A real eye soar.
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
My eye doctor’s office is at the shopping mall.
She’s an Opthemallogist.
Did you know there is a new horse species with one eye and a horn?
It's called a unicornea.
Bad puns are how eye roll.
My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye surgery I’ve always wanted
It’s my 2020 vision
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
"You know, one would have been enough."
Called in sick to work one day complaining about my eyes.
When they asked what's wrong I said:
“I just can’t see myself coming in to work today.”
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