Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
Why do Jack-o-lanterns have silly smiles on their faces? You'd have a silly smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other? Cut it out!
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
You don't know jack-o-lantern
What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin!
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.