Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
Pumpkin Spice season is finally here, better latte than never.
What do you call a barking pumpkin?
A gourd dog.
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
My dad said he wanted to steal a pumpkin
but all the stores were well-gourded.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
A dog in a pumpkin patch is called...
a pumpkin pooch.