Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
My dad said he wanted to steal a pumpkin
but all the stores were well-gourded.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
A dog in a pumpkin patch is called...
a pumpkin pooch.
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin!
You don't know jack-o-lantern
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
Why do Jack-o-lanterns have silly smiles on their faces? You'd have a silly smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin? When you drop it; then it's squash!
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!