I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
A dog in a pumpkin patch is called...
a pumpkin pooch.
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him I'd gourd it with my life.
What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.