I got my paycheck with a lemon slice on it today...
turned out my ex-wife was garnishing my wages.
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
What do you call an attractive, Jewish lemon with no worldly possessions?
An aesthetic ascetic acidic Hasidic.
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
What happens to Germans when they eat too many lemons?
They become sour krauts.