What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel.
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
How many grams of protein are in an apple pi? 3.14159265
Who’s an apple’s favorite relative?
Granny.
What do you give a horse that has just won the Kentucky Derby? An Appletini.
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
What’s an apple’s favorite movie? Mr and Mr Smith.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden.
What did the apple say to the almond? You're Nuts!
What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? Pineapple.
What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Johnny Appleseed.
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !
What is red and goes putt, putt, putt? An outboard apple.
What is the left side of an apple? The part that you don't eat.
What do you say when a fruit wins the talent show? How about them apples?
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
Where do bugs go to watch the big game? Apple-Bees.
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple.
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.