Did you hear they are not making yardsticks any longer?
They’re not making them any shorter either.
The neighbor's dog pooped in our yard, so my wife told me to get the shovel and toss it over their fence.
But that didn't solve anything.
Now the neighbors have my shovel and someone still has to pick up the poop in our yard.
My friend was explaining at length how he was digging holes in his backyard for water.
He was boring.
My HOA agreement has a statement mandating we have an inflatable Santa displayed in our yard during December.
There is a Santa clause.
I was gonna walk barefoot through the yard.
But that would cause an ecological crisis.
Can you explain why your neighbor’s yard is so messy and overgrown?
“We’d never.”
How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?
It was chipped.
A man has found water while digging in his backyard. For many years, he used the water at home saving tons of money until one day, the water stopped flowing. So he dug a little bit further and found water again and used it for years until it also dried up. This time, he went further, brought a digging machine, and dug a deeper hole until he found water.
Neighbors, annoyed by the noise, called the local sheriff who arrives to check what was happening in the backyard. The sheriff discovering the scene in the backyard says:
"Well, well, well ... What have we got here?"
I went to my backyard and saw a bird of prey eating avocado toast.
It was a millennial falcon.
I saw a squirrel bury a nut in my backyard today.
I'm going to swap it for a grilled cheese sandwich and blow his mind.