Have you ever been on a party boat?
It’s a Yacht of fun.
Yesterday, a man threatened to kill himself with a knife and someone called the cops.
Today he died of his gunshot wounds.
What do you do when you're in a knife fight with a group of clowns?
Go for the juggler.
What did the British man say to the man with the submachine gun he's never met?
Uzi?
Why did all the passengers on the right side of the ship have dead cell phones?
They weren’t on the port side of the ship.
How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?
They docked his pay.
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.
If I ever get drafted into the Navy, and they make me choose what boat to get on.
I would just say frig it.
A bomb goes of in a cheese shop.
You can see da brie everywhere.
I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my wife about it.
She said there was a great sail.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
Who has the best place on a sailing ship?
The mast, because it has the pole-position.
My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun, but I’m not impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
You know what really floats my boat?
Surface tension.
Why do all the boats in Scandinavia have barcodes on the sides of them?
It makes it easier to... scan da navy in.
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