What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
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